A Stranger

24th August 2011- It was like 8 months we broke up. Few months we never really talk. I admitted that I was avoiding, I'm running away from you. Maybe for a lot of people, break up is just nothing, and why should I make a big hoo-haa here? Yeap, it was really nothing, after months I used to watch so many movies, dramas to convince myself that break up is just a NOTHING. In fact, not really. How can it be a nothing to me? A person that I loved most besides my family, turned against me and told me our world is over? It can't be a nothing. Maybe today I already used to walk alone, maybe I already used to walk under the rain without your protection, does it mean I'm really fine with it?

Today, we talked, sitting side by side. So near yet so far. Who will ever expected both lovers to be strangers like us? I'm not sure whether you regret what you have decided, scarified me for freedom. Why would you be so concern to have the haagen danz that I have promised to treat? Just merely fight for the right to eat because I promise to treat? I never afraid of the whole world turns against me, because I knew you are there by my side. But, when you turned your back against me, even I have whole world standing beside me, there is just something empty. I admitted that you are very important to me, but after all this dramas, I only realize that being together is just my dream not ours.

One day when you're with a new girlfriend, I know my heart will be broken. But who cares? I will just take it as "expected" or "norm". I never expect anybody will understand how I feel, because I'm tired of repeating how I feel. One day, if you met someone you really love, and she left you, you will know how that feel. The worse thing is not that I feel like dying without you, is that I have to live without you, with hopes, with smiles. Convincing myself that there is a better one waiting for you one day, in fact, there is never a better one, because I always put you as the best.

After so many days, we knew we are not going to be like before, the days we used to laugh and cry together. So, I will not ask you again to come back, and I will not expect to care. So just stay out of my life, pretend that you never care, pass by like a stranger. Why would you care to stay in my circle of life if you have no feeling for me? I only ask for one thing, just let me go and leave me alone because your concern and your smile make my heart broken once and once again, and I really don't know how long I can hold myself to be not broke down and cry.

Maybe after all, I'm just not as strong as everybody thinks. Maybe I just can't stop loving you even I know how asshole you can be to me.